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Ash and Pikachu frogadier fletchinder hawlucha Serena braixen pancham clemont chespin Bonnie
1830 Performing with Fiery Charm

878 テールナーとヤンチャム!!魅せろ炎のパフォーマンス!! Tairenar and Yancham!! A Captivating Fiery Performance!!

Wherein .

team rocket inkay and pumpkaboo sycamore sexy assistant grace rhyhorn fletchling tierno shauna trevor aria delphox aromatisse pierre miette slurpuff meowstic

The sun rises on another day in the Pokemon universe with Serena standing on a hillside behind a solar-powered windmill (I can't think of anything less-American) staring pensively off at Dendemill Town below. Our heroine is trying to psych herself and her Pokemon up for the impending showcase, and Serena is desperate for an improved sophomore performance after her disasterous debut. Seeking the kind of support and validation that she just can't get from the clueless men in her life, Serena does something that Ash Ketchum never does – she calls her mom. (Although to be fair to Ash, he does log his share of long-distance minutes with his secret-daddy, Professor Oak) serena calls homeUnfortunately for Pokemon's adult viewing audience, the Dendemille Pokemon Center's video phone (unsurprisingly) simply doesn't have room on its screen for Grace's most notable feature – her buxom Brobdingnagian bosoms. Miraculously, Serena is able to distract herself from her mother's ginormous breasts long enough to remind her to watch the showcase later, and to show off the designer dress she got from Valerie (heh, and all Ash got was a lame badge…). Like most young women, Serena takes her mother's reservation over her choice of clothes as a sign that she made the right decision, and she rushes off to reunite with.

And who should Serena and company run into outside of the auditorium?

miette is scheming tompouceshipping serena blushes
It's Miette!

Yes, everyone's favorite combination French maid/Japanese schoolgirl with the almost disturbingly-tight skirt has returned, and picks up right where she left off in calling out Serena on her AmourShipping denials and threatening to steal Ash for herself. "You cut your hair…" Miette remarks acerbicly, which elicits an overly-defencive "so?!" from Serena in return. "So why did you do that?" the bitchy madamoiselle responds, "something big happen in your life?" Serena claims ignorance as to what Miette is angling at, but she reflexively lurches towards a clueless Ash nonetheless. Serena's "deny and deflect" strategy moves to phase two when she encourages Miette to "forget about all that" and focus on the upcoming showcase that she, Serena, is going to win, darn it!

I have to say, it's nice having Miette around again, since she seems to bring an almost Original Series level of what Pokemopolis used to call "dodginess" out of the writers, albeit the animators have a slightly-worring tendency to objectify her underage body. Although I have to say that they've behaved themselves so far and –

serena and miette kiss
Dear God... Evacuate all the schoolchildren!

Ahem... Yes, so, after narrowly avoiding making out, Miette reminds Serena of her previous promise to have "a chat" with Ash if she should emerge victorious in today's competition – a prospect that does not seem to particularly tickle Serena's fancy.

miette whispers to serena serena blushing
miette waves sayonara bai bai serena is pissed

Miette waves au revior to our heroes and goes spinning away, showing off her extremely-short skirt again in the process. Serena is left steaming, while Bonnie grins conspiratorily – apparently aware of what is actually going on. Dumb-Ash remarks that Miette is "ready to go," which causes his girlfriend to turn and shout at him, "I'm ready to go too!" Once again the true meaning of the situation has completely sailed over the head of Pallet Town's village idiot, as he calmly responds "that's the spirit!" "Ash can be so dense," shrugs Bonnie, who seems to have a firm grasp on our main character. And then there's her brother, who has managed to combine Brock's ineffectiveness with women with Ash's complete lack of knowledge – "Bonnie, what are you talking about?" he asks, forcing her to sigh and remark, "of course, you're the same..."

Inside the auditorium, Monsier Pierre provides us with some context for the performance that is about to take place, as well as for the viewing audience at home that includes a who's who of Pokemon XY recurring characters. Grace has managed to lug her massive mammeries outside and is watching the showcase on a labtop with her Rhyhorn and Fletchling, Team Squirtle appear to be watching the festivities from a Pokemon Center somewhere (is Shauna too chicken to face Serena this showcase? Does she realize she stole her last win from Jessie and not want to try her luck again?), Professor Sexymore is watching from inside his sexy lab flanked by his sexy female assistants (I'm frankly surprised they bothered to get out of bed), and reigning Kalos Queen Aria is watching from inside her dressing room.

miette round oneAfter Clemont prevents Bonnie from proposing marriage yet again to master baker Gina, it is time to get phase one of the showcase underway – it's a three-way Poke Puff bake-off between Miette, another girl with a Plusle and Minun who seems to have actually purchased her French maid costume from a lingerie shop, and a third girl with a Swanna who is, well, actually surprisingly conservatively clothed, considering her competition.

Miette uses her Slurpuff to pick the "freshest" from a large number of bottles of milk (I wonder if they stick sour milk in there just to see if they can trip anyone up?), and Meowstic uses Psychic to stir the batter. Unsurprisingly, it is Miette and not either of her nameless competitors that the judges pick to move on, "but of course its me!" she declares with all the bitchitude that Harley used to bring to Pokemon Contests.

Speaking of bitches, Jessie – ahem, "Jessilia" – has arrived on stage with Meowth and Wobbuffet (as Pumpkaboo and Inkay are being punished for not winning last time), and prepares to demolish two ladies armed with a Psyduck and a Sneasel, respectively. Without his Scratch Cat for company, a fedora-ed James is forced to cheer twice as loud by himself, frightening the young children around him.mewoth makes poke puffs Fortunately for Team Rocket, Jessie has come up with a strategy that is sure to lead to victory – cheating! Apparently Meowth did some leg work beforehand to discover the preferred tastes of the three judges' Pokemon, a Mime Jr., Furfrou, and Jigglypuff. The leader of the Rocket trio merely has to stand back with clenched fists as Meowth does all the baking (how unsanitary!) and Wobbuffet stands patiently by to hand him ingredients.

Of course, Jessie can't allow the Scratch Cat to claim all the credit, and she puts her on stamp on the Poke Puffs with her own... unique style of decoration. Meowth fears that Jessie's contribution may have sunk Team Rocket's hopes, but the judges note that the Pokemon seem to like them, and that's the important thing – and Jessie is through to the second round!

ash eats poke puffs ash laughs serena prelims

Serena is nervous as she prepares to take the stage, but she thinks back on all of the people who have supported her along the way – a dream sequence that mostly focuses on Ash (oh, Satoshi... <3 <3 <3 ) – and summons the courage to carry on and face-off against her competition, a chick with a Lickitung, and some bitch who brought a cursed ghost sword with her (don't want to piss her off...).

5 Staryu