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Ash and Pikachu goodra frogadier fletchinder Serena braixen clemont chespin bunnelby Bonnie
1821 Beyond the Rainbow

869 決着!ヌメルゴン虹の彼方へ!! Conclusion! Numelgon, Somewhere Over the Rainbow!!

Wherein … [shakes head, walks away].

team rocket

Last time we saw them, Ash and friends had decided to stop doing anything exciting/important for a while, and took a day trip to the wetlands where Ash's Goodra used to live as a Goomy. There they met the wetland's boring/inept caretaker Keanan, who encouraged Ash not to interfere as a fascist Florges (with the secret backing of Team Rocket) and its army of brown-shirted Bug-type thugs terrorized the wetland's helpless Pokemon inhabitants. Concluding that we hadn't been tortured enough, the show's writers decided to extend this boring filler into a two-parter, and this is where we pick up today, with Pikachu, Dedenne, and a wild Wooper kidnapped by Florges' forces of evil.

rocket rocket

 Of course Florges couldn't have been acting on its own accord… As wise Ekans once said (hissed?), "Pokemon not bad guys! Pokemon do bad things because Master bad!" There is no such thing as a bad Pokemon, except possibly Mewtwo (and Beedrill of course! Mindless stinging machines!). Team Rocket has put a surprising amount of thought into today's heist, the water pumps take me back to that magical moment when James first let us glimpse inside his closet.

low water low water low water

 You know, if the water levels were falling so low, maybe Keanan shouldn't have been draining the wetlands even more last episode…

rocket airship rocket airship

 So Keanan has the entire wetlands wired with cameras, and yet he failed to notice the GIANT F@#*ING AIR SHIP that landed and started pumping water?!?! I'll say it again, this guy is either more incompetent than Officer Jenny, or like his corrupt police counterpart, he's in on the take.

hero ash I can remember a time when Ash didn't perform inhuman feats of action hero daring every other episode. Luckily, it's easy to have no fear of danger when you are too stupid to realize the consequences of your actions. Also, I'm not sure Ash actually believes in gravity…

ash on ship ash on ship

 I wonder if Ash is dumb enough to destroy Team Rocket's ship while he and his Pokemon are still on it…

 ash blows ship Yup.

rain dance rain dance

 Wait, why didn't they just do this from the start? Also, in a universe with access to Rain Dance, and where the law of the conservation of matter apparently doesn't apply, why would anyone ever go thirsty?

goodbye goodra I remember thinking to myself last time, "the only thing that could make this episode worse is if Ash left Goodra behind." [Sigh].

Final thoughts: F%$@ YOU ASH! F*%& YOU RIGHT IN YOUR STUPID BASTARD ASH-HOLE! You finally, finally, had a Dragon Pokemon for the first time in 18 seasons of Pokemon training, and what do you do? You take a page out of Original Series Ash's book and just give it away! That was supposed to be a one time thing to get rid of that bitch Butterfree, but no! You have to go and give away every other decent Pokemon on your team. Do you think Gary gives away his Pokemon?! Paul does, but only when they suck. You had a friggin' fully-evolved dragon! How many times did your mother drop you on the head when you were little?

Well, there goes my hope that maybe, just maybe, Ash would actually accomplish something in the Kalos League. At this point, the only way the writers could make up for this is for Ash to get Charizard back and start mega evolving. I can't wait for the summer movie period in Japan to be over so we can get back to Ash and friends accomplishing things in the anime. Bastard writers.

1 Staryu