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Ash and Pikachu Serena Clemont Bonnie
1819 Garchomp's Mega Bond

867 狙われたメガシンカ!ガブリアスの絆!! The Coveted Mega Evolution! Gaburias's Bonds!!

Wherein Professor Sycamore is still a giant pervert and Blaziken Mask recruits a partner.

team rocket sycamore garchomp meyer blaziken sexy assistant sophie jenny

Our hero Ash has had an eventful visit to Lumiose City so far – he busted Clembot out of prison, foiled a plot by an evil scientist, and earned his fifth Kalos League badge. Of course, no visit to Kalos' City of Light would be complete without a visit to the city's Pokemon expert, Professor Sycamore. So just what is Professor Oak's most similar protege up to? At the moment Professor Sexymore is discussing his love of lubricants with Bonnie and Clemont's father, Meyer. "There's something marvelous about the smell of motor oil!" declares the sex-crazed Frenchman.

motor oil motor oil

mega stonesSo the kids make their way into Sycamore's laboratory, where the randy professor is – like usual – flaked by at least one of his sexy female assistants. He explains to the assembled children that he is on the verge of an astounding breakthrough – he is going to have one of his Pokemon undergo mega evolution for the very first time!

So, to recap: Professor Sycamore has supposedly dedicated his professional life to studying the phenomenon of mega evolution, a process he claims is both rare and mysterious. AND YET – as Ash and company travel throughout Kalos, basically every other person they meet has a Pokemon capable of mega evolution, including Sycamore's own mechanic, Meyer! But then again, I suppose Sycamore wouldn't be the first academic in the Pokemon world to become so preoccupied with poontang that his research fell by the wayside...oak meme

Dumb-Ash is very curious as to whether his Pikachu could possibly mega-evolve (no, but your Charizard can!), only to be shot down by the professor, who points out that Pikachu isn't even fully-evolved yet. Yes, it appears that Pallet Town's village idiot has ignored Eminem's advice and has forgotten about Raichu – raichuall this despite Ash's long history facing the existential crisis of Pikachu's evolution and the fact that he saw a Raichu just three episodes ago! However, Sycamore notes to Bonnie's delight that "it's possible Dedenne could mega evolve..." [We interrupt this episode review to bring you a word from your friendly neighborhood Nintendo Representative: keep buying officially licensed Pokemon products from Nintendo and perhaps you could be the first person to discover Mega Dedenne!]

When all of a sudden...

lab attack lab attack
Ash seems genuinely surprised to see Team Rocket again.

So Team Rocket takes off with Sycamore's mega stone, Garchompite, and Garchomp in tow, but fortunately for our heroes it is socially-awkward Clemont to the rescue!Clemont's tracking device Kalos's John Denver lookalike hands Ash a tracking chip that he undoubtedly uses to stalk unsuspecting females that he is too shy to speak to. Our hero musters all the action hero strength that he first developed in the Orange Islands to launch the tracking device on to the villains' rapidly ascending rocket. Meanwhile, outside the lab,meyer shocked Meyer is only just now noticing the Meowth-shaped mecha that presumably was just as loud, if not louder, when it was crashing through the glass-plate roof of Sycamore's greenhouse to begin with. (So much for highly-attuned superhero senses...)

Clemont takes a moment to explain to Ash and company what it is, exactly, that the chip he had thrown at Team Rocket does – it relays information to the Clemontic tracking device (patent pending) that Clemont just happened to preemptively create anticipating this very situation! (And in no way did he already own it as a result of a childhood spent reading and studying, which left him woefully unprepared to talk to girls...) So Professor Sexymore orders his sexy assistant to sexily inform Officer Jenny of the crime in progress while he takes the children on a sexy road trip! Meanwhile, it is revealed that Meyer rides a Vespa. A scooter is certainly – different – than a Batmobile, I guess France's superheroes have to retain their hipster chic?

clemont tracking device sycamore road trip meyer's vespa

So despite James' earlier insistence that it was time for Team Rocket to go home, our villains have not made straight for the Kanto region, but have instead parked their Meowth rocket ship in a canyon within driving distance from Lumiose City. How do I know this? Because true to form, Clemont's invention explodes in his face, but Professor Sycamore has already driven the twerps within earshot of the place where Team Rocket is trying to forcibly evolve Garchomp.

clemont explosion team rocket and garchomp

After the commercial break, Professor Sycamore reminisces about how he first met Garchomp as a Gible. According to Bulbapedia, this is supposed to be the regular anime introduction of Alain, the Squaresoft looking dude from the Mega Evolution specials, which I did not realize because I did not watch the Mega Evolution specials.alain mega evolution (Although the guy does have a Charizard, so he can't be all that bad). Anyway, apparently Squall Leonhart's little brother here first introduced the professor to Gible or something, and will probably have a role to play somewhere down the line in the anime (he is also yet another character who knows more about mega evolution than Professor Sycamore).

(Update:) So I forgot that I recorded the Mega Evolution Specials on the end of the same tape as the Diancie movie, and I have to say – not too bad! Almost makes you think that we could cut out a few of those filler episodes per season and introduce some new characters besides Ash to have concurrent storylines, eh?

blaziken maskBut there is no time for that right now because Blaziken Mask! That's why!

Lumiose's caped crusader and his Mega Blaziken have arrived just in the nick of time to prevent Team Rocket from forcibly evolving Garchomp – or has he?blaziken mask utility belt Meowth kicks up his Pokemon control ray to overdrive, so Blaziken Mask is forced to reach into his Batman-style utility belt in order to lend Professor Sycamore his mega evolution stone.

James and Sycamore vie to see who will be the one to get Garchomp to mega evolve, with our favorite blue-haired baddie seemingly claiming victory.master james

"I'm James, your master. Obey me!"

Of course, wouldn't you know it, the power of love for Pokemon overcomes even the strongest Pokemon control ray! Yes, blah blah blah, typical moral message, etc. Team Rocket resolves to make a tactical retreat and live to fight another day. Unfortunately for our lovable losers, this isn't Kanto anymore, and Ash has become a cold-blooded killer when it comes to dispatching the show's villains. At this point I don't know what the difference is between letting Team Rocket jet off and forcibly blasting them off – either way they evade captivity.

jenny is lateSpeak of the devil, look who's too late to bust the perp yet again! And, wow, the police in Kalos get Mini Coopers? That's definitely an upgrade over Viridian Jenny's motor bike! As it turns out, Officer Jenny is also too late to meet Blaziken Mask – but I'm sure Commissioner Gordon will get to meet him one of these days.

So with the villains dispatched and Garchomp safely back in the arms of Professor Sycamore, it is time for another episode of Pokemon to come to an end. But not before the horny professor can approach Meyer and repeat his earlier line about motor oil being marvelous...sycamore is creepy

Oh my god. Sycamore is propositioning him for anal sex!

And although Meyer might not have understood the professor's motor oil lubrication entendre, he does agree to assist the professor with his mega evolution research. Blaziken Mask finally has his Alfred, or is Sycamore more like the boy wonder Robin, what with his ambiguously gay sexuality? Stay tuned Pokemon fans, stay tuned.

Final thoughts: Professor Sycamore never ceases to amuse in any of his appearances. Team Rocket usually has to carry weak filler episodes on their backs, but today I found them strangely annoying. For some reason, it really bothered me that they had a flying Meowth robot with a Pokemon control wave generator. Like, a flying Meowth robot on its own would have been fine, but add the control waves and suddenly I have a problem with it. I know that is a weird place to draw the line, but it seems like the ability to control other Pokemon would be more important than to just include as an afterthought on a mecha – like cupholders or air conditioning. Whatever, I suppose once you start over-analyzing cartoons, everything just falls apart. But that's what I'm here for, darn it!

3 Staryu