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Ash and Pikachu Serena fennekin Clemont chespin bunnelby Bonnie
1814 A Fork in the Road! A Parting of the Ways!

862 迷い道は分かれ道!?ムサシとソーナンス!!A Fork in the Path of Indecision!? Musashi and Sonans!!

Wherein Jessie finds true love and Clemont tries to render the contents of Ash's brain in binary code.

team rocket Clembot Magneton

Clembot slow clapToday finds Ash and friends walking through the forest, having recently been reduced to a threesome thanks to Clemont's retreat to Lumiose City. Over in Kalos' City of Light, the city's absentee gym leader is actually resuming his duties, and is currently battling the creepy Clembot. Bunnelby unleashes a quadruply effective Ground-type attack and downs Clemont's Magneton, which is under the control of Clembot (shouldn't Clemont be practicing with the Electric Pokemon he will presumably have to use in his gym battle?). The wily android sarcastically applauds its master's victory – all the while waiting for the moment when it can unleash its evil terror once again – and tells Clemont that the preparations for his battle with Ash are proceeding nicely. clemont is puzzledClemont is not so sure, he notes that the real Ash is much more "dynamic" (a nice word for stupid, and thus unpredictable), and comes up with the solution of digitizing Ash's battle style and inputting it into Clembot. ("Yes master," Clembot thinks to itself, "keep filling me with data on battling Pokemon and soon enough I will become an unstoppable killing machine! Hahahahaha! Kill all humans!")

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Ash and friends suddenly find themselves under aerial attack by Team rocket a fork in the road Our villains have seemingly come to the conclusion that after 18 seasons of planning complicated yet fruitless Pikachu heists, they might as well try simply attacking the twerps by air. This plan works just as well as all the others – and by that I mean Pikachu soon dispatches the beautiful baddies with one swift Thunderbolt attack. But when the dust settles on the remains of the latest Meowth balloon we find – Jessie and Wobbuffet are nowhere to be seen! James and his favorite Scratch Cat are alone at last! BlueShippers rejoice!

Jessie and Wobbuffet go wandering through the forest, but they are unable to reunite with their criminal comrades. What they do find is a stoner Gloom that is happily basking in its own second-hand smoke. It generously offers to share some of its Stun Spore stash with its new friends, but Jessie and Wobbuffet have not built up the tolerance of the appropriately-named Weed Pokemon, and take too big of a hit. Our buxom beauty and her patient blue friend fall backwards off the cliff towards their all-but-certain watery graves below.

Could this be the end of Team Rocket as we know it?

fall to death fall to death


oh oh

Oh my...

jessie eats a cherry My oh my...

not in front of the children not in front of the children

Not in front of the children!

jessie blush of shameWow... things just got, adult. Newly undressed, Jessie blushes like a schoolgirl on prom night contemplating the dirty things she has just done. And while having Jessie fall for a handsome doctor certainly isn't unprecedentedjessie and doctor proctor, it is strange to see the normally brash and headstrong bitch goddess queen of Team Rocket acting so meek and shy. Jessie's savior/loverboy is Dr. White, the only medical professional in the area, which is strange in a universe where Pokemon Centers are so omni-present that they even have them inside of caves...

hot doctor hot doctor

In any event, Jessie is so enamored with her hot new doctor friend that she decides to accompany him on his rounds, one stop being at the local lumber mill, where a lesbian lumberjill named Beatrice is upset about the recent attempt by some anti-feminist male pig to kidnap her Bidoof.beatrice the lumberjack Dr. White advises caution, telling his butch Canadian friend that she should leave going after the Pokemon hunter to Officer Jenny. Fortunately, Beatrice is no fool and recognizes what a bad idea this is. "Do you have any idea how long it would take Officer Jenny to get all the way out here?" she asks sarcastically, not even mentioning how much it would cost in bribes to get her off her lazy police ass, which would undoubtedly be leveraged against whatever money the aforementioned hunter was willing to pay to keep the law off his back...

The next call for the doctor is a small farm where Jessie is called upon to corral a bucking Skiddo while the good doctor begins his examination. The old farm wife notes how strong Jessie is, and declares that she will make a perfect partner and wonderful wife for Doctor White. This causes Jessie to swim off to daydream land and imagine, perhaps for the first time, the possibility of a happy life outside of Team Rocket.

wide eyes jessie wedding
jessie married jessie married

jessie hits old lady"Stop it, you're hurting me!" declares the old woman, after Jessie thanks her for her kind words by hitting her repeatedly on the shoulder. But as Jessie grows closer and closer to her new boyfriend, both her Team Rocket comrades and her mortal enemies close in on Dr. White's premises. James and Meowth have spied Jessie from afar, and are going to move in for a closer look. Meanwhile, Ash and company are in need of medical services after Dedenne became trapped inside of an electrified cage, which Dr. White sees as further evidence of a Pokemon hunter in the area. Jessie is less than thrilled to see a reminder of her criminal past so soon after contemplating going straight, but fortunately for her dumb-Ash and company are completely fooled by her clever bun hairstyle disguise. What Ash does managed to recognize, strangely enough, is Wobbuffet. (Ash may not remember his own name from time to time, but the man never forgets a Pokemon!)

Jessie's identity is fully revealed when Bonnie spots her Team Rocket outfit on the clothesline and her luxurious red hair conveniently springs back into its normal shape at the same time. Jessie beseeches her erstwhile foes to keep her secret from the good doctor, as she discloses a revelation that is as surprising to the twerps as it is to James and Meowth hiding in the bushes.

quitting team rocket quitting team rocket

Jessie is quitting Team Rocket to stay with Dr. White forever!

Oh happy day! As if the corpse of RocketShipping hadn't already rotted beyond all recognition, the writers dug it back up just to piss on it a little bit more. Jessie, who has always been the main force driving this ridiculous ship (James being of the wrong sexual persuasion), shows absolutely no qualms about leaving her supposed blue-haired love behind without so much as a goodbye. For his part, James shows the remorse you would expect of anyone who has recently lost his best friend, but there are no dramatic declarations of unrequited love – I believe James has made his position on the matter fairly clear over the years...

blueshipping BlueShipping forever!

So as James and Meowth go skipping off into a world of man/Pokemon sexual perversion, the twerps are still trying to wrap their minds around Jessie's new life decision. Bonnie wonders if Jessie and the doctor are going to get married, a concept that totally puzzles Ash, "get married?" (after all, his mother and father have a less-than-traditional arrangement...). Serena seizes upon this moment to coyly drop a hint to her clueless boyfriend, "well, that is what two people do when they decide they want to be together!" pokemon hunter(That's right, Serena said two "people," not "a man and a woman." Take that homophobes!)

Off in the forest, Meowth is still bemoaning the loss of Jessie, while James angrily tells him that he better just get used to the fact that it is just going to be the two of them from here on out. The remainder of Team Rocket stumbles upon another trap like the one that Dedenne was caught in earlier, and they run across the menacing Pokemon hunter himself. Proving that there is no honor among thieves, Mr. Hunter declares that he has discovered the rarest of all prizes – a talking Meowth (FINALLY, somebody recognizes the universally unique talents of our resident Scratch Cat!), and decides to steal it for himself. James and Meowth (as well as Jessie's Pumpkaboo, which is still literally hanging around) bravely prepare to defend themselves against the poacher and his –

team rocket minus jessie team rocket vs rhyperior

...Rhyperior. Oh sh*t...

James' battle apparently went about as well as anyone might have expected, and he painfully stumbles back to the doctor's office, interrupting Serena's plans to help play matchmaker between Jessie and Dr. White. (Because clearly adolescent girls are the best people from which to solicit advice on love...) James and Ash manage to put aside their differences temporarily as the former needs the later's help to get Meowth and the other Pokemon back from the poacher without ruining Jessie's new dream life. Of course in typical soap opera fashion, Jessie overhears James' dilemma from inside and she is now forced to make a difficult decision between love and her friends.

the twerpsAfter the commercial break, the Pokemon hunter is forced to reckon with the most dangerous force in the known Pokemon universe – three unsupervised minors! While Pikachu and Fennekin keep Rhyperior busy, James sneaks over to the hunter's truck and picks the locks on the Team Rocket Pokemon's cages. Meanwhile back at Dr. White's, Jessie informs the good doctor of the clear and present threat posed by the Pokemon hunter and he immediately runs off

white loves beatrice...straight into the arms of his true love, Beatrice the Canadian lumberjill!

Dr. White informs Beatirice that when he heard about trouble with the Pokemon hunter he feared she was involved, for you see – his heart belongs only to her! Thoroughly disillusioned, Jessie tells Wobbuffet to remain behind (NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!) and removes the chopsticks that were holding her bun in place.

When the action shifts back to Ash and company, we discover that the battle has not gone quite as well as we might have hoped. James and Meowth are still trying to pick the locks of the other cages when they get an unpleasant surprise from the rear james and meowth surprise in the rear(and not the kind that James is used to...). But just when it seems that all hope is lost...

jessie sunbeamJessie's back, baby!

Team Rocket's voluptuous villainess has returned and not a moment too soon! Jessie begins the sacred Team Rocket motto alone, as James is still too shellshocked to join in.
"But I thought you were gonna give up evil-doin' for love?!" Meowth manages to stammer.
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" Jessie replies, finally solving seventeen years' worth of mystery by explaining that line of the motto.

James and Meowth are overjoyed at the return of their merciless goddess queen, and dissolve into one final tearful BlueShippy embrace before they retake their rightful place at her side.blueshipping

Unfortunately, even with Jessie back in the fold, the newly reunified Team Rocket discovers the same thing Meowth and James already found earlier – Pumpkaboo and Inkay are no match for the iron-jawed Pokemon hunter and his imposing Rhyperior. This time it really does seem like all hope is lost. For who could possibly stand tall against the might of Rhydon's even bigger cousin? Yes, this is certainly the end, Pokemon fans. The entire anime is going to end on a surprisingly dark note...

But hark, what is that sound I hear wafting through the trees?
Why, I believe it is Axl Rose's annoyingly nasally voice, but what could he be saying?
"...all we need is just a little patience."

Patience... but what does that mean? If only there was a Pokemon that embodied the very concept of patience, a patiently pleased Pokemon, perhaps? But who could that be?

wobbuffet counter Motherf***ing Wobbuffet!

Wobbuffet is back! The wobbly blue blob was unable to leave his beloved Jessie behind and has returned just in the nick of time to save all of the humans from a grisly death. Twerp and Rocket alike join forces to finally bring an end to the scourge of this particular Pokemon hunter, with everyone's favorite Patient Pokemon leading the charge.

wobbuffet charge wobbuffet charge

team twerpet Biffles!

With the day's adventures over, Dr. White and Beatrice finally make their belated way to see how their young friends fared against the evil Pokemon hunter (I wonder what they got up to that kept them so preoccupied...). Bound and gagged, Dr. White declares that the poacher will finally face Officer Jenny's justice (either that or he is about to become an unwilling third party to White and Beatrice's kinky sexcapades). Bonnie hands the doctor a bouquet of flowers from Jessie, who everyone agrees was the hero of the day. High in the night sky, a pensive Jessie clutches a similar bouquet, thinking about how she will always be a member of Team Rocket before chucking the flowers from the balloon as if to scoff at the very idea of love.

But we're not done quite yet folks!

Back in Lumiose City, Clemont has finally finished programming Clembot to think like Ash Ketchum. The evil robot's processors spin faster and faster as it tries to make sense of dumb-Ash's brain logic (which must be similar to trying to divide any number by zero). Finally Clembot shouts "can not compute!" and explodes all over the place, hilariously proving once and for all that Ash truly is an idiot savant.

idiot savant idiot savant

Final thoughts: This was a very good episode, as filler episodes often are when more thought is put into them than, "let's have Ash meet a new Pokemon by saving it and/or its trainer from some kind of problem!" This certainly wasn't the first time that the concept of members of either Team Rocket or team twerp leaving was broached, or that certain Pokemon should be left behind, but it was all handled very well. I honestly did not expect Wobbuffet to come back (partially because of the way the Japanese title was worded), although I certainly didn't think the writers would just randomly break up Team Rocket in the middle of a series. The day that ever happens is the day that I finally stop following this show and return to my worn-out Season One VHS tapes for good. I cannot express how glad I was to see Wobbuffet remain a character in this show. He is honestly the single greatest thing to come from the anime's Bataan Death March through Johto, and is at this point the Pokemon I most associate with Team Rocket (besides Meowth, of course). It was fantastic to see Jessie show some emotional vulnerability, and stomping on the grave of RocketShipping is never a bad idea either (thank you writers!). Finally, the bit with Clembot not being able to process Ash's brain was too funny for words.

4 Staryu